


Sobbing at burger king

by Soyverin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love, M/M, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Sadstuck, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, imsofuckingsorrypleasedontreadtgisforyourwellbeinh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:08:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27120898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soyverin/pseuds/Soyverin
Summary: A blonde teenage girl was sitting at her computer. Empty martini glass in hand As she stares at the bright screen, the rest of her surroundings dark.This is Roxy Lalonde
Relationships: Auto-Responder | Lil Hal/Roxy Lalonde, Calliope/Roxy Lalonde, Jake English/Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker/Roxy Lalonde, Roxy Lalonde/Dirk Strider
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Sobbing at burger king

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize  
> Also @Sinister_Sagittarius helped me write what jake said, thank u my wonderful jake kinnie.

A blonde teenage girl was sitting at her computer. Empty martini glass in hand As she stares at the bright screen, the rest of her surroundings dark. 

This is Roxy Lalonde

You used to be able to feel love, or at least some fake painful version of it.  
There was this one boy. Charmingly astute. Intelligent, and kind in his own way. He had his downfalls but it made him just so much more loveable.  
You confessed to him and he accepted. Maybe it was out of pity. Even though, you were happy anyways.  
The first time you met it was amazing. He was even more handsome in real life. Burning topaz eyes and snowy white hair. His eyes you could describe with a million different adjectives, gemstones, and etcerra. If you close your eyes you could imagine it, permanently burned into your memory.  
This was maybe one of the most happy days of your life. The first time he kisses you, it was like fireworks behind your eyes.

He didn't feel the same.

He started getting more distant with your conversations. You could tell, and it left a bitter taste on your tongue.  
You got into your first fight with him.

You start drinking. 

He broke up with you one week later.  
His name was Dirk Strider.

The second person, was this Ai responder of Dirk’s. A clone of Dirk’s 13 year old self. He was so much like dirk, yet not the same at all. Snarky, witty and cunning, Like a sly fox.  
You both bonded with your mutual hatred over Dirk.  
Well hatred on his side. You don't think you could ever fully hate Dirk.  
He's just so much like Dirk…...he reminds you of him, painfully so.  
You might be in love with a robot.  
You know robots can't feel love.  
In some type of hope he can prove you wrong, you tell him anyways.  
He says he can't return your feelings, literally.  
He tells he's sorry.

The third person was a plump girl with a love for baking and bright blue eyes.  
You instantly clicked with her, spending many hours on pesterchum with her. Sending pictures of eachother daily, having normal random conversations, teasing and joking with eachother.  
She was lovely. Mishchevious and curious. Funny and kind, but quick to anger.  
Your drinking habits start to get better. Forcing yourself to be mostly sober when talking with her. 

One day she tells you she's fallen in love with an attractive explorer of some sort. Who lives on an island by himself and goes on all these adventures. 

Your drinking habits get worse. 

She comes one night sobbing to you about how her crush has gotten swept away by some blonde guy, already taken. She says that her crush said said ‘ Oh golly! Pardon me, while you are a very impeccable and dandy female chum of mine, I don't happen to express the same feelings you do! And I've already acquired myself a boyfriend anyhow. My apologies!! ‘  
You console her.  
You and her start talking a lot more.

You think you might love her.  
You tell her this.  
She brushes it off and pretends its a joke. 

She starts avoiding you a lot more. Making up excuses.  
You haven't video called since. 

You stop talking to her.

Her name was Jane Crocker.  
Jake English broke her heart.  
And Dirk stole Jake's. 

You start wondering if you are unlovable. It would make sense. Your just broken pieces no one wants. Since, who would want a broken toy?

You really can't stand being sober. 

Your name is Roxy Lalonde. You haven't loved in a while.

It's another girl this time. You commented on one of her drawings she posted on Instagram. She liked and replied.  
You started to dm with her.  
You get along quite well. She’s a very creative girl, who likes to cosplay and create art mostly. She doesn't have the greatest home life. She has a jerk brother.  
She was so devastatingly kind and gentle. Polite and cheerful. It's magnetic. It's something you need, and crave.  
You love being around her.  
When you see her see her for the first time it's at this nice coffee shop. You forced yourself to be sober for at least two days before this important meeting.  
She has snowy white hair and these big beautiful green eyes.  
You think you feel love for the first time in a while. 

She actually confesses to you. You easily and cheerfully accept.  
You go on a pretty date to an art muesam.  
You kiss her for the first time.  
It wasn't like fireworks, like the first time. It was something soft, loving and sweet. Something that melted your heart.

You go on more dates.  
You move in together.  
You propose to her.  
You both get married in some cool garden she took you to once.  
She helps you with your drinking problems.  
Your know one year sober.  
You are happy. 

\-------------------

Your name is Roxy Lalonde.  
You've been struggling with sharing your problems.  
Calliope has this big commissions for work and she's been very stressed lately, you try her best to console her.  
She brushes you off a bit more than she realizes.  
You're hurt, and stupidly so. You know she didn't mean to hurt you or brush you off. Either way it pangs your chest. You are just overreacting. So many more people have it so much fucking worse than you. In retrospect all these people are suffering from abuse, harassment, starvation and here you are. A person with a wonderful life,, complaining and being hurt by your wife just brushing you off unintentionally. You're awful. You a snobby bitch who doesnt deserve anything. Everyone would be better off without your shit. You're broken. 

With a painful trembling frame you go sob in your shared bedroom, smothering your cries with your multitude of pillows.  
Callie doesn't notice doesn't for a while. Which makes you feel even worse.  
She comes in to check on you and she's met with your ugly crying face.  
She asks you what's wrong.  
Your words and unintelligibility vauge, at this point your just babbling.  
She subdues you with the promise that she’ll buy ice cream.  
You're barely consoled as you sniff.  
You feel a heaviness in your stomach and an ache in your bones.

The terrible feeling doesn't go away for the whole day. You thInk Callie can tell.  
She goes to the store in your shared car.  
She's taking a bit longer than usual.  
You have a very sickening feeling in your stomach.  
Your probably just overreacting right?

You text her to see how she's doing.  
she answers, that she's on the road and she can't talk.  
Relief feels your chest,  
Her little bubble says she’s typing but it suddenly stops.  
She never says anything else.

You get a call. ‘ Is this Mrs.Lalonde’s significant other? ‘  
You tell them yes.  
‘ I'm so sorry, but she got into a car crash with a drunk truck driver...she's gone. We’ll send you for her body when we can recover her. ‘

It was like a punch in the gut.  
You fall over.  
This is just a joke right?  
Right?!  
No no no no no no this cannot be happening. Calliope was your light. Your rock. She was the only one who loved your broken self. The one who could make you happy on a dark day. The person who helped you with your alcohol addiction. The reason you continue to live another day.

It's all gone.

You feel numb.

Alcohol, will be your ruin.  
Funny right? The death of your love will be because of some drunk driver. 

You don't think you can handle this.  
You get an urge you haven't in a long time.  
You take some pills and a bottle of wine for special occasions only.

With shaky hands you open the pill bottle and down all the contents. Then chugging the wine you feel exhausted. Today was just too much for you.

Luckily it will be your last. 

Last words, I’ll see you again.

You close your eyes, ready for a permanent blissful sleep.

You don't care where you end up, as long as it's with her.


End file.
